I should've said something
by readinbug
Summary: Turning on his heels Kanata walked away leaving Miyu behind as she watch him going away from her in silence. She didn't realize then her true feelings for him and now it is too late for her to do anything. He's gone, gone forever and she'll never ever see


**I should've said something**

I guess I'll never forget the day you left. For the first time I really wanted stop you when you walked away from me but I didn't and watched you leave, going away far faraway for forever. Watching you go I realized in that moment that I'll never be able to see you again, that it was the final goodbye. 'Please don't go. Please stay, I love you Kanata Saionji. Please don't leave me' this is what should have been on my mind but what I said was "don't you have even a bit of love for your friends. Don't you realize how much upset Akira is about you going away and you can't even go pay her a visit? You really are a worthless friend. Can't you even say a proper goodbye to her? Don't you have any emotions Saionji?" as I met Kanata on his last day at school. He was about to move to Tokyo the next day and had come to school in order to collect his transfer certificate. "And who are you to tell me what to do and what not? Mind your own business Kouzuki" he replied leaning forward to drink water from the cooler.

"You are impossible Saionji. I just don't understand why do girls like you in the first place" I replied exasperatedly "anyway I do know one thing for certain that you are one hopeless person to befriend and I'm glad that you are moving away". Miyu was getting irritated by the ever so persistence narcissistic smirk of his face. She was completely oblivious to her own feelings for him at the moment and had no idea that the guy standing in front of her now will haunt her in her dreams in the coming years as she eventually realize her true feelings.

"By the way Kouzuki, will you miss me when I'm gone?" Kanata asked Miyu. "What kind of question is this, obviously not. Why will I miss someone I've hated the most for the past one year" she replied. Kanata's expressions changed for a moment but he regained his composure before Miyu could notice. He shrugged his shoulders saying "mutual feelings" and turning on his heels moved away from her as she stood there watching him go. For a fraction in that moment when he had turned his back on her she felt a pang of strange emotion in her heart that she couldn't comprehend. She returned to her physics lab and remained strangely quiet for whole day. When Miyu came back from her coaching classes that evening she locked herself up in her room and cried for no reason. She suddenly felt all alone despite of being surrounded by her best friends Nanami and Aya. The days pass by and every day she passed by the same road leading to her coaching classes and back to her house all alone. One evening she was returning home from her coaching classes in the dark because she was running late as her chemistry teacher suddenly decided to take a surprise test that day and now she was riding her cycle very fast in order to get home. The sky was getting darker with every passing moment. She suddenly found herself in a similar situation not very long time ago when she was being chased by Kanata as he too was returning from same coaching classes she attended. He was with one of his friend Santa, who also happened to her friend and she was all alone. She was in hurry to get away from them because they were teasing her by singing ridiculously her favorite song of those days. "Why are you running away from us Miyu?" Kanata called out to her from behind as she pedaled faster. They pass over a speed breaker and she struggled to keep both her balance and her speed. But Kanata who was about to catch her lagged behind and shouted "shit Santa, my wallet fell down. Please bring it to me while I go catch up with her or she'll get away". He didn't stop and as Miyu heard this she pedaled faster to get away from him but soon he caught up with her. "Are you scared of me Miyu, why are you running away?" he asked her. Without glancing at him and keeping her speed she replied "of course, why wouldn't I be scared of such a scary face as yours". He seemed surprised by her answer and as they turned left from the hospital he answered "usually I don't receive such kind of remarks. Instead I receive compliments for my good looks from girls". Exasperated by his answer she felt a snort escaping her mouth and countered him with another sassy remark "in that case I'll be very happy to give a reality check and come up with a new remark for your scary face everyday, just for you". Raising his eyebrow Kanata asked her "what gives you the authority to give me such remarks". "exactly I'm nobody so please stop following me and let me go" and with this she pedaled faster managing to overtake him and Kanata slowed down to wait for Santa who was yet to catch them. She easily managed to increase the space between them and turned right from her school. Her school was at walking distance from her house and soon she slowed down to enter the garage of her house to park her bicycle. As she turned her head back she watch them approaching her again. Kanata and Santa began singing that song in order to tease he again and she moved her back to them as they passed by her house. Miyu snapped back to present as she turned left from the hospital. With utter disbelief she realized that she had had yet another flashback. This has been happening very frequently lately. She couldn't understand why she was recounting each and every moment of her spent with Kanata and neither could she tell why she was thinking about him all the time. Her inability to reason with her own sudden and incessant feelings for Kanata were making her oddly restless all the time. All she was hoping for was him to return, all she wanted was to see him again and she was getting nowhere near comprehending what had gotten into her. One day at school she was playing spin the bottle with her friends and it was her turn as the bottle pointed in her direction. Aya playfully asked her "so Miyu now that Kanata Saionji is not here, do you miss him". She stared at her best friend blankly and the first thing that crossed her mind was 'No way' but then her heart had started beating faster at the mention of his name. She asked herself 'do I miss him? Why do I miss him?' and finally at the back of her mind a very timid voice replied 'because you love him idiot. You have always loved him despite of him being a Casanova, a popular flirt of school who changed girlfriends as if he was changing clothes. You always argued with him because you craved for his attention and now that he's gone forever you can't stop thinking about him. You can't get him out of your heart, your mind'. She was shocked at the realization and her eyes started welling up and she closed her eyes to avoid any scenes in front of others. The bell rang and she was the first one to walk out of the class. That day she spent whole day playing basketball and exerting herself to great extent in order to avoid thinking about Kanata but no single moment passed without his face popping in her mind again and again. She couldn't concentrate on her game at all. That day she realized that she was hopelessly in love with someone she never thought she would, never in this lifetime at least. She was in love with someone she had hated the most for the past one year ever since he had moved to Heiomachi. She was in so much love with him that months later when a very good friend of her proposed to her she turned him down because she knew that she wouldn't be able to reciprocate his feelings as she was in love with someone she could and would never have, someone she'll never ever meet again.

Five years have passed by and Miyu is about to graduate from college and she is still single. Not that she was never approached by anyone but because she is still in love with Kanata after all these years. She is now busy focusing on her career but sometimes her mind moves back in time to the day she had seen Kanata for the last time. She still remember the way he had walked away from her while she stood watching him go away and now all she can think is she should have stopped him. She should have confessed to him about her feelings when she had had the chance to. But now nothing can be done and all she think of her one sided and unrequited love is that 'I should have said something'.


End file.
